It's hard to describe what motivates me to write, and more specifically, to write about my own perspective on the numbers behind sports. What is my real goal here? To be honest, the point of this blog is to answer that impossible question. How meta.
Let's start with the basics, and do a brief analysis of my content. The entire premise of this platform is esoteric in every sense - it's not meant to be fully understood by everyone. Screengrabs of Excel sheets tend only to excite a handful of people to begin with. And besides, there are plenty of other creators that do a better job than I do (@FoolishBB on Twitter, if you're a real one). So, that eliminates establishing myself as a mainstay among amateur sports writers.
Just like everyone my age with an overgrown sense of 'humor,' I often feel some pressure to conform to whomever I'm standing around, or interacting with, and try and make jokes they'll like. It's exhausting. Worse yet, it's self-imposed. I understand that I should just relax and be myself, but I am actually a pretty boring guy. My interests don't really align with many people. That doesn't mean I don’t like socializing with people - far from it. I'm a human being, we all crave connection.
The content I compile for this site is based on what I really think about - the questions posed by sport. It's hard to explain why I am that way, and maybe I'll give it a shot at some point, but that's a blog for another time. Being a casual fan is something many people can claim, but I find that my own understanding of the games themselves - the lore data, rules, and what have you - is something I can't truly share. Sharing, after all, is defined by Dictionary.com to mean: 'to use, participate in, enjoy, receive, etc., jointly.' That last word is the key. Lots of folks love their teams, and I am certainly not discrediting their fandom, but few share my love of the analytics behind the games. I can't share what I know, but maybe that's not the point.
So, I guess that's where we stand. I am doing something I truly love to do because I can't do it anywhere else. Quite literally then, this is an outlet for me. That feels good. It feels right. Maybe I am writing into the void. Maybe establishing an audience is something that I should be working towards, but is that what I want? I have no problem with writing for nobody, as anyone who follows me on Twitter should know. I'm okay with not starting a dialogue. I'm just dying to put what I think about out there, into space.
This is an exercise in self-care, but not the pint-of-ice cream-on-a-Wednesday-night-because-whatever kind. This is singing in the car with all the windows down, hitting that one solid golf shot that keeps you coming back, and a runners' high all in one. This is for me.
(This is how I'm feeling after writing that last sentence. Turn the volume waaaaay up.)
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